A Visit From The Krampus
by Cruz Flores based on “A Visit From St. Nicholas” by Clement Clarke Moore
‘Twas the eve before Yuletide, when all through the land
Children were wicked and quite out of hand
The toys were dispersed on the floor without care
Heedless the Krampus would soon be there
The dishes all broke, the sugar-plums eaten
None cared anymore if they were all beaten
Mama cried in her ‘kerchief, I felt like a sap
Their vows to be good were all full of crap
Around the whole house, they were all full of clatter
Dumping the pudding and watching it splatter.
Right through the windows, rocks flew with a crash
Tore down the shutters and drapes they did slash
Then the moon turned red on the new fallen snow
And gave the bearing of Hell on children below
When what to my terrified eyes did emerge
A grand chariot whipped by a Hellish black scourge
With a hideous driver come to attack us
I knew right away it was the terrible Krampus!
More rapid than demons in the house he came
He called out the children and knew every name:
Now Timmy! Now Tony! Now Donna and Steven!
You’ve had enough fun, now it’s time to get even!
His eyes how they smoldered! His teeth were serrated!
In front of the children, I almost there fainted
He was vicious and sharp, a demented, dark elf
And I stared at his horns, in spite of myself
The curl of his lip and the cock of his head
Told all the children he was someone to dread
And as good as his word, he then went straight to work
He chased all the children, snatched them up with a jerk
Into the sack, he flung every one by the nose
Until all you could see were the tip of their toes
He sprang to his chariot, and gave a hard lash
Then broke down our door with a deafening loud crash
But I heard him bellow, ere he flew out of sight,
“Be good little kiddies, or I’ll see you tonight!”